By: Stache Staff

You Mad, Bro? Mets Take 3 Of 4 From The Cardinals

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From SB Nation’s “Viva El Birdos” Blog:

  • “Gonna be a long game with Colon on the mound.”
  • “constipated game is constipated”
  • “WAIT TODAY WE GET TO SEE BARTOLO COLON BAT AGAINST LANCE LYNN (hopefully!)”
  • “if I heard right, no Darling today on sny; keith will have plenty of chances to be funny”
  • “Yup darling is out…….it changes alot. Usually it’s Hernandez out in hamptons with his pals”
  • “i don’t agree with getaway day lineups when we’ve already dropped 2 of 3 in the series”
  • “So the Mets off-season additions were…Dice K, Granderson, Colon, Chris Young, Bobby Abreu, and Jose Valverde? That is such a weird crew of players.”
  • “#ThatsSoMets”
  • “Nobody tell them what year it really is.”
  • “Abreu creeping up on Colon for tummy honors”
  • “Is it just me, or is Colon even fatter than before? Abreu definitely has porked out significantly.”
  • “Colon gains like 20 pounds a year”
  • “Every time he arrives in a new clubhouse he immediately…eats the utility infielder.”
  • “Mets leading the league. In morbidly obese 40 year olds. Way to rebuild!”
  • “I never want to lose But if we do, can it not be by a run….….to the most anemic offense in baseball”
  • “was not expecting to be dominated by the mets, gotta say”
  • “Their rotation is actually pretty good”
  • “I feel like Colon would rather sit down and roll the ball to the batter.”
  • “Alan Porter’s strike zone is… interesting”
  • “THIS TEAM IS TERRIBLE. TRADE EVERYBODY”
  • “TRADE THE 25-MAN ROSTER FOR TROUT”
  • “Colon’s got crazy movement”
  • “That’s because he has his own gravitational pull”
  • “Our offense against colon

  • “Chuckling at the taco bell lower third on a close shot of Colon on SNY”
  • “do you remember when Bartolo Colon was not clinically obese? no, me neither”
  • “I love colon. I hope he sticks around for next year though he would be a good pickup for someone at deadline”
  • “We just need to get the hell out of new york”
  • “Against the wind, even. Damn, Chris Young”
  • “WHERE WERE YOU ON THAT MATT HOLLIDAY?”
  • Am I the only one that wants to see Colon attempt to run to second base?”
  • “I’m pretty sure that’s how a Tsunami starts”
  • “I can’t believe this shit”
  • “This game fuckin sucks”
  • “They are just making these losses look as bad as possible right now”
  • “I AM SO FUCKING GLAD THE GRITTINESS OF ELLIS MADE THE RUNNER GET CAUGHT. TRUE KNOWHOW”
  • “Honestly, fuck MM.”
  • “#Mathenyed”
  • “Wow….a non-hitting version of the Cardinals is not fun to watch!”
  • “Mets have a better record than us and beat us in a series 3-1…”
  • “Sorry Mets but this is not that big of a win. You will still be irrelevant in a fairly short amount of time.”
  • “what a turd of a game”

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