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The Daily Stache

The @MongSlayer Manifesto

Mong

Editors Note: An e-mail was received by The Daily Stache this morning at just before 3 AM with us being asked to post this and we agreed. I have been calling out different beat writers for their stupidity this season and now someone wants to go even farther. He calls himself the “Mong Slayer” and this is his Manifesto.

daily stache,

you are reading this because i’ve seen the mongslaying powers of your mets blog and i’ve come to offer my support.

i am called the mongslayer. but i am not the greatest mongslayer in the world. consider this a tribute of sorts and a mongslayer manifesto to my metstwitter brethren…

you may be reading this and wondering, who is the mongslayer?

i say, a mongslayer is the resistance.

mets fans and metstwitter denizens put up with enough BS as it is with the team’s growing pains.

the last thing mets fans deserve are awful, condescending, egotistical, tone-deaf shit-disturbers like andy martino trying to click-bait anything they can at the expense of 22-year-olds. controversy sells, and andy martino is a professional mong. and he’s very good at his job, sadly.

martino’s professional agenda is to sell papers and get page views by pandering to the lowest commong denominator with irrelevant info to distract people from the fact that andy martino sucks.

martino’s anti-zack wheeler agenda appears to be part of a warped agenda in martino’s mind where he would rather bully a 22-year-old minor-leaguer rather than actually do his homework and report on relevant baseball information objectively. yet he is never held accountable.

martino is not the only mong that pollutes the vibrant metstwitter community. alas, he is one of the highest-ranking mong. unfortunately, he has a large audience to spew his poisonous opinion, in his tabloid rag paper, and on the mets’ own channel, which is more of a hilarious moment in wilpon incompetency than anything.

but i digress…

who is the mongslayer?

the mongslayer is anyone.

the mongslayer is everyone.

a mongslayer need not be but one person.

a mongslayer is an idea.

a mongslayer is the resistance.

the mong, they live among us, some on metstwitter, with their deluded thoughts, and some in the media, with their heads so far up their own asses, they can’t see the light of day.

a mongslayer can fight words with words. prose and poem can be powerful in 140 characters. or less. or more. on twitter. on a blog. anywhere. your voice, your rejection of the status quo, you can embrace a better conversation, where fans can think for themselves, and be smart without being smart-asses.

a mongslayer can be anything you want it to be, if you fight for justice. your own justice. a fight for higher standards instead of the things we hear regurgitated down our collective throats like we’re sheep.

we’re not sheep. a mongslayer is not a sheep. we’re not falling for your two-bit shtick anymore. not martino. not adam rubin, who has lobby forever and will do so infinitely, until the end of days. step your game up, phonies.

martino should stop trying to take shortcuts, instead of just being fair to a 22-year-old kid. martino is probably jealous that zack wheeler is already better at what he does than martino ever will be at anything. although if he keeps getting paid to troll like mong for a living, that’s a pretty sweet gig. touché, douche.

that is, until the audience tunes out. and the clicks don’t come. and the papers stay on the shelves. until a mongslayer protests nobly. and then another. and then another.

tune out the mong. don’t click. don’t read. don’t pay attention to irrelevant bullshit. the mainstream media mong are afraid, because they know that the best mets information comes from mets fans, who care about this team, and do their damnest to express themselves about this team.

the daily stache understands the power of mets fans, and harnesses this power for good. something as simple as a recap of metstwitter’s raw emotion in 140 characters shows us the best of mets fandom, win or lose, every game.

whether you blog, or you tweet, or you care at all about the mets, don’t let the mong of the world ruin the small flickers of hope that the mets have in a very, very bright future.

a wise man once said that the night is always darkest just before the dawn. that dawn is coming.

the mong will be vanquished. the mong will be slayed.

the mongslayer can’t do it alone. no one mongslayer alone can.

but the rise of the mets fans and their passion can be strong enough to quell whatever in the world is considered journalism about our mets those days.

a mongslayer is not a hero, just your friendly neighborhood mongslayer. sweeping the streets and making things better for the thinking fan.

metstwitter will rise. the mong will fall. one by one, they will fall.

ya gotta believe

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