By: Stache Staff

You Mad, Bro? Queens Bombers Edition

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From SB Nation’s “Pinstriped Bible:

  • “please win tonight. i can’t handle any more losses to the freaking mets”
  • “After tomorrow, the next time they’ll be relevant is July 31st when they see what they can get for guys like Murphy and Neise.”
  • “Duda is a decent hitter”
  • “That’s 6 Mets in a row that have reached base now”
  • “I bet that’s a season high.”
  • “Dammit Phelps, you’re supposed to keep Nova out of the rotation.”
  • “Can we please not lose three in a row to the Mets”
  • “To hell with this. Not gonna listen to us get swept by a shitty team whose fans annoy me to no end.”
  • “He has no idea where the ball is going. What the fuck.”
  • “What is Byrd swinging at?”
  • “Fuck off, Nix.”
  • “GET. OFF. MY. TEAM.”
  • ““But Suzyn, he just knows how to play the game. That’s not going to show up on a stat sheet.””
  • “Table flipping time”
  • “Guys, Jayson Nix is a BASEBALL PLAYER.”
  • “Glad I have my Venture Bros. screening to go to tonight”
  • “Ike Davis? Ike Davis. Ike. Davis.”
  • “Okay, who put the Astros out there?”
  • “Wow… With that Ike Davis hit, I think it’s fair to call this a disaster.”
  • “This is giving me 2009 Chien Ming Wang flashbacks”
  • “I hate the Mets and hope the whole team dies in a fucking plane crash. Fuck em where they fucking breathe.”
  • “Thats a bit much”
  • “And you’ve officially crossed about eight lines.”
  • “worst week ever, puke puke puke allllllll over the place”
  • “Not to sound like the guy before, but I’m gonna be really happy in 30 minutes when I can turn this off and put on USA-Belgium.”
  • “Have the Mets scored five runs in a game this year?”
  • “Yeesh, Ruben Tejada and Ike Davis have hits. their combined averages are like .350″
  • “This inning will determine my Zantac intake”
  • “WHAT THE CHRIST??!! I call mom and dad to talk about their new gas boiler installation as the game is starting and come back to THIS?!! Sheesh!”
  • “I wonder if Coney farts in the booth”
  • Remember when the Yankees were good?”
  • “MLBN adding insult… After an update: “And now back to Citi Field.”
  • “is this the price we pay for beaning Wright?”
  • “I’d think listening to Kay is enough punishment for that”
  • “Stewart paying homage to Carlos Beltran with that take”
  • “Watching this game was a huge mistake”
  • “If an alien landed on Monday and watched these games, It’d think the Mets were going to win the World Series.”
  • “Jeremy Hefner> Matt Harvey”
  • “Well this is probably the low point of our season…We can only go up now right?”
  • “After watching this series, Id rather have Nix over Tejada”
  • “Stewart! Y u ruin things?!”
  • “Scott Rice? The Yankees couldn’t hit Anne Rice these days.”
  • “Tejada testing out his takeout slide on his own teammate.”
  • “Wow. That dude couldn’t be more of a ginger. He must spontaneously combust during day games.”
  • “D’oh.”
  • “balls”
  • “Wow. I have no words.”

From MLB’s NYY Forum:

  • “Good luck tonight. May the Phelps be with you.”
  • “Man can these mets hit or what?”
  • “This start of the game does not surprise me at all. This is the Mets World Series this year. They are going at the Yanks HARD.”
  • “Could the Yankees please show a pulse?”
  • “This is ridiculous……”
  • “You KNOW you $ UCK when Ike Davis gets a 2 run hit off you. SMH”
  • “And how many times do the Mets score 5 in the first proving anything is possible in a game.”
  • “I want to bang Meredith. That broad looks hot!”
  • “What is Cy Hefner’s record again?”
  • “Jeremy FREAKING Hefner. Has absolutely nothing—even on his BEST day. And still manages to make our future $200 million second baseman look silly with a mighty 89mph heater upstairs. You cant make this stuff up.”
  • “Three Mets on the 2000 team took PEDs Pratt, Franco, and Piazza”
  • “This is looking like the beginning of the end for the Yankees sorry to say.”
  • “My condolences. Lousy game all the way round.”

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