By: Stache Staff

You Mad, Bro? (St. Louis Cardinals Edition)


From the Cardinals MLB Forum:

  • “I hope Waino can shut these bums out.”
  • “Wow, Beltran is really conserving energy, eh?”
  • “Man, Molina is just a perfect freaking ballplayer.”
  • “Mets’ outfield is very bad”
  • “Never agree to scheduling a 4 game series with the Mets … by the 4th game the Cards start playing like the Mets.”
  • “Monkey see…Monkey do…..”
  • “Cards offense can’t solve a pitcher with an ERA of ~6.0 and whose average fastball is 90 MPH and …. well on and on with the ugly stats. I guess MM and the players are gonna assume the bicycle racing strategy for winning the season championships????”
  • “This has the pace and urgency of a spring training game”
  • “Yeah, I got better things to do than watch this half-donkey effort by the Cards. This is embarrassing.”
  • “Still might pull it out. Mets are still the Mets.”
  • “looks like a Bud Norris game. facing that tough cy young contender, Niese”


From SB Nation:

  • “Waino seems to be on today.”
  • “Pitching to the mets will do that”
  • “i love duda he is hilarious thats the reason why the dh sucks you dont get to see inept sluggers play of”
  • “fuck off murphy, jesus”
  • “Daniel Murphy is really good at based balls.”
  • “Man, Ike Davis is really bad at this.”
  • “Hi, my name is Joe, and I hate the Mets. especially those asshats from the ’80’s.”
  • “McEwing hates himself, and Jesse Orosco.”
  • “Also, WTF Orosco was a Cardinal? /loogiesplayforalltheteams”
  • “Yes. I still hated him.”
  • “To be fair, Niese is a pretty good pitcher. It sounds (and looks) like he’s gotten his recent mechanical issues figured out.”
  • “yeesh how can collins hit and run with buck and duda”
  • “valdespin is really annoying”
  • “Has anyone noticed… how small David Wright’s biceps are? I don’t mean that in a “Bro, do you even lift way?”, but a, “Wow, your upper arms are incredibly, almost hilariously, short” way.”
  • “Well, nutsack.”
  • “jesus what is going on with daniel murphy? this is ridiculous”
  • “guess we are the mets today”
  • “guys, don’t worry, Ike Davis is coming up. If he could figure out a way to get 3 outs at once, he would do it.”
  • “Ike Davis can’t see that curveball at all. Ugly.”
  • “hey who’s tired of daniel murphy and his goatee?”
  • “looks slapped on, like a patch”
  • “welp”
  • “murphy is just hilarious at this point everything is a rocket”
  • “wow… Freese has hit bottom.”
  • “Darn, I was hoping for a four-game sweep”

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