Here Chipper, we paid some guy an absurd amount of money to make this for you. We just wanted to say thanks for kicking our asses for almost 20 years.
First it was Jose, now it’s Chipper.
What the hell is wrong with the Mets brass? Why are we thanking players for flipping us the bird and kicking us in the nuts? It just makes no sense at all. I wonder if Fred, Jeff and Saul are all looking for change in the payphone coin returns throughout Citi Field to make sure they have enough dough for Derek Jeter’s S600 Mercedes they plan on getting him?
What self-respecting man, or in this case, organization, would give someone a parting gift after being their arch nemesis for an entire generation? As extremely knowledgeable fans, Mets fans understand and respect how freakin’ good Chipper Jones was. It was so painful for us to see a guy man 3rd base (how many did we have over the first 43 years of our history? 147?) for so long and be so damn good. We were so jealous. But once David Wright arrived, we could finally let out that sigh of relief. But could you believe the audacity Chipper had, to say all those nice things about David? Oh my god! It was like he was driving a stake through our hearts cause he knows Wright is as good as gone once he hits free agency. It was like he was subtweeting before subtweeting was even hip!
I know we will never to get the bottom of who made this decision, but wouldn’t it be fantastic if when Alderson/Fred/Jeff gets on WFAN after the season in their traditional spot with Francesca, and he actually grilled them about it. I could just hear it in my head. “Sandie, I undah-stand that Chippuh was retyrin’ dis yeeah, but why did yiz have to give him a paahtin gift? I mean he killed yuh for ovah fifteen yeahz…FIFTEEN YEEAHZZZ!!”. And then I’m sure Sandy will give some ultra generic answer that leaves us all sitting there with our mouths gaping open.
There’s a reason why the name “LARRRRY” is on a banner in that picture. It’s because that’s his real name, and we would mock him with a chant of it. We HATED him. Pretty much how we hate YOU, Mr. Wilpon and Company. I know you are being just like the other lemming franchises. But if you wanted to “thank him”, do it in private. Not in front of “your” fans.
The Mets ownership makes me want to just vomit. But after all the crap we’ve been through this past calendar year, this just takes the cake.
I wonder if in 2015, Hal Steinbrenner is going to get David Ortiz a solid gold statue of him spitting on his batting gloves?
