Thank you Mets management!
The Mets have officially made their first splash of the off-season, signing the legend Bobby Bonilla to a 25-year, $250 million contract, the team announced Thursday.
In order to help with the financial hit, the Mets will pay Bonilla until Snooki’s kid has a grandchild.
“I couldn’t be happier than to be signed by the Mets and continue to be paid without lifting a finger,” Bonilla told reporters. “It’s an honor and a privilege.”
“Fans thought that when we announced the blockbuster concerts, that was our big move of the off-season,” Owner Fred Wilpon said. “Now, you can see we are seriously committed to winning.”
Bonilla is expected to slide in the clean-up spot to protect David Wright. He’s likely to start the year in right field, although new reports have him injuring his hip while signing his contract.
“No big deal,” Bonilla said. “I’ll be fine.”
Stache Note: This is obviously fake. If you believe this, than you probably also believe the Mets will sign Robinson Cano.
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