By: Stache Staff

You Mad, Bro? “Bartolo Blanks The Barves”

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From SB Nation’s “Talking Chop” Blog:

  • “My prediction: Braves win 3-0 in 10 innings on a 3-run HR by Ryan Doumit. Harang pitches 6+ innings, giving up 8 hits, 1 walk, and 4 strikeouts. Colon throws 7 shutout innings, giving up 7 hits.”
  • “PLEASE DON’T KILL ANYBODY METS. We’ve had enough of your shenanigans.”
  • “Stuck with the metss broadcast fml”
  • “can’t wait to watch Bartolo Colon hit tonight, although if he doesn’t even get the chance, that would also be acceptable”
  • “I’m the idiot who went to two games all of last year and saw both J Hey and Huddy go down. I’m seeing the boys twice next week at Citi. I’m sorry in advance.”
  • “Are the Mets going to literally roll Colon out there tonight?"
  • “Would it be insulting or a compliment we played Camptown Races for every Dida at-bat tonight?”
  • “I know that Duda and Ike Davis tend to play really well against the Braves. The Mets have been a tough matchup for the Braves over the past few years for that matter.”
  • “Uggla is the only guy swinging in his intro video, there is a joke in there somewhere”
  • “I have absolutely zero faith in Harang.”
  • “SMH Aaron Harang can’t even throw a no-hitter for 0.1 IP”
  • “Why isn’t anyone booing Colon’s fat, cheating ass?”
  • “horsecrap”
  • “might be a long night”
  • “CY Colon”
  • “I no longer get excited when a pitch comes at BJ down the middle”
  • “Harang and Colon? The mound is going to be flat by the time they’re done stomping on it.”
  • “Harang Colon sounds like an awful medical condition…”
  • “Why did we give Fredi gonzalez an extension again”
  • “The thought of seeing BJ in CF for 4 more years made me vomit.”
  • “That makes me so, so, so sad”
  • “Travis D…ah however the hell you spell it. 0 for 20 to start the season. Top prospect"
  • “When he was in the minors, lots of scouts made him sound like the 2nd coming of Christ.”
  • “But Christ ascended into heaven at age 33, so the second coming of Christ would be in his decline phase.”
  • “just move BJ out of two hole. Still don’t understand why he’s there”
  • “It doesn’t work that way. Once Fredi writes CF in the #2 spot, he can’t change for the rest of the year.”
  • “I  barf every time I see Dan swing, miss, and twirl his bat over his head”
  • “Does Bartolo realize that a family of four could be covered by all the cloth needed to cover his body?”
  • “It’s that realization that drives his competitive passion.”
  • “I’m not sure what’s worse……listening to Bud Selig, or listening to the goons in the Mets broadcast booth. Thus far, I’ve chosen the latter, because I get SNY here in Syracuse.”
  • “I kinda like the Mets goons (I’m in New Hartford near Utica) At least they’re entertaining.”
  • “Eh…more annoying than entertaining imo.”
  • “That walk will deprive us of watching the majesty that is Bartolo Colon’s swing…”
  • “Made a mistake of going over to the Mets SB site. Saw that they ‘greend’ a pic that made fun of Hudson’s injury. What a classy bunch.”
  • “Surprised?”
  • “I guess I shouldn’t be. It’s just sick that people cheer a serious injury to another player because of a stupid sports rivalry.”
  • “Coming from the fanbase who chanted Larry Larry because they thought it would annoy Chipper?”
  • “You’re on a blog that routinely greens a gif of Bryce Harper crashing into a wall and getting a concussion.”
  • “Wow Colon can not bunt”
  • “He’d fit right in here”
  • “Colon has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.”
  • “I particularly enjoyed When a 40 year old pitcher blew BJ Upton away with 3 fastballs down the middle”
  • “harangutan

  • “Nice swings Harang, can you look less like a professional athlete?”
  • “He could look like Colon”
  • “Hanger…”
  • “haranger*”
  • “Uggla just got a Colon-oscopy”
  • “WTF is up with our offense? This is getting ridiculous.”
  • “Man this is depressing”
  • “We need Chipper”
  • “Ugh this game is depressing”
  • “5 straight K’s. I am mind blown”
  • “it is the Mets that the Braves are playing against…”
  • “Perhaps BJ should have caught that ball.”
  • “Another pathetic game. Embarrassing”
  • “Oh fklhiuihihabjkdhgbing shit”
  • “#BARVES”
  • “Why are the Mets cursed? Was it cause of Chipper naming his son? or John Rocker?”
  • “It started with the pitcher who will not be named….”
  • “The curse of the mets, fuck those guys seriously”
  • “So basically, ever since we were able to exorcise our Expos/Nationals demons and started beating up on them, the Mets became our resident cellar dwellers that give us fits? Well, at least it’s not the Marlins.”
  • “I keep lookign at Colon And I expect him to ball up a la the fat kid in “Hook” and roll from the mound to the plate.”
  • “89 MPH HEAT”
  • “This is a hilarious tragedy.”
  • “heyward looks like shit at the plate just like about 7 other Braves players.”
  • “I give up. i’m going to bed. i will have nightmares of colons & harangutans with colons wrapping themselves around the bats of all of our hitters. Colons win, especially old ones.”
  • “this sucks, fuck the mets”
  • “Braves will hit 5 straight homers to win the game in the bottom of the ninth in honor of Hank. Count on it.”
  • “Dear God this is sad. With Zach Wheeler up tmrw this could be a lost series to the fucking Mets”
  • “Ball boy even sucks tonight.”
  • “FUCK YOU CHIP YOU SICK BASTARD”
  • “High fly ball” got me excited”
  • “That was one of the most pathetic fckng games I have ever seen.”

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