By: Michael Ganci

Things That Live in Bobby Parnell’s Beard


It’s no secret that Bobby Parnell has one of the better beards in professional sports.

I get it. He’s no James Harden or Brian Wilson, but he’s gotta be in the upper echelon of guys when it comes to the facial hair. Because I’m bored, and feeling quite random, I decided to make a list of things that Bobby could keep in his beard for resourceful reasons.

See below.

  1. Tool Kit: Ever need to fix something on the go? No problem. Bobby keeps a small kit, complete with screwdrivers, wrenches and the rest you need right in the craw of his beard.
  2. Pen: It doesn’t take an epic beard to keep a pen in it, but Bobby is usually Johnny on the Spot when he needs to write something down. Rather than waste precious pocket space, he can shove that sucker in his beard.
  3. Cell Phone: I’d imagine medical professionals wouldn’t recommend this one. Parnell, being a professional athlete, has a lot of friends who are looking to get in touch with him. What’s better than having your phone just a couple inches away at all times?
  4. Snack: We all get hungry, some more than others. Now, I wouldn’t eat a snack from Bobby Parnell’s beard. Actually, it would make for a cool story but maybe. Especially if it’s bagged and protected, he could whip out a bag of cheetos or pretzels at a moment’s notice.
  5. Keys: No word on if Bobby has remote start or if he’s learned how to do it without using his hands, but keys could definitely work, and it would be funny to see everyone around him try to figure out where the jingling sound is coming from.
  6. Wallet: This is probably not the safest option, and if he does this, I recommend not keeping anything valuable in it. But for convenience, he probably makes it work.
  7. Remote: While at home, we all lose the remote. It’s an epidemic and we need to find a solution. For Bobby, no problem exists. He just keeps it in his fur basket. Boom.

About Michael Ganci

Michael Ganci is the Co-Founder of the Daily Stache, along with Matthew Falkenbury. Since 2008, Ganci has eat, drank and dreamt all things Mets, and he'd have it no other way. Feel free to follow him on Twitter at @DailyStache.

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